I think I can….

I’ve been telling ya’ll about my surroundings, so I thought that I’d take an opportunity to tell you exactly how this whole thing goes mentally. Those that I’ve talked to, I’ve told that it is a daily and sometimes hourly rollercoaster filled with moments of confidence followed by moments of loneliness and longing. Longing to be in a familiar place doing something you love to be doing! I’m amazed about how much my moods can change throughout the day. I can go from appreciating an amazing sun rise as I walk to the gym at 5:15am to getting out of the gym and realizing how far I have to go until my life comes back to the states and something more familiar. Rest assured though, that I choose to think about the good things, the things that make me smile, the things that I want life to be about…all those memories and wishes! I learned the hard way in college, how dwelling on past situations won’t get you anywhere, you can only learn from them and tweak them to perhaps get a different outcome in the future. Sure it’s ok to dwell, but only for a moment if for no other reason than to figure out what went wrong.

In that I’m reminded of a movie quote from a Beautiful Mind…the scene takes place toward the end of the movie when a representative from the Pulitzer committee visits John Nash and in a roundabout way asks him if he were crazy. John Nash responds, “Like a diet of the mind, I just choose not to indulge certain appetites; like my appetite for patterns; perhaps my appetite to imagine and to dream.”

Ya’ll know that I can be a very passionate person, and that I have some very strong opinions when it comes to life and how I believe it should be lived! With that there is a certain standard of life that I always want to adhere to. To this point in my life I feel as though I have been behind the curve and well….just playing catch up! When the opportunity came up a year ago to go to Chicago to work on the Whiting oil refinery I nearly lept at the chance to end my days of debt and get a step closer to that ideal of life that I had always imagined. That opportunity came to a close this past March when I got demobilized from the project in Indiana, a mere 8 months later, due to what would be major cut backs. Having to make a major decision quickly, the opportunity came along to come to Afghanistan and accomplish several things in the meantime. I would finally realize that desire to be debt free and working toward a life of standards that I believe are good for me.

Every couple of days I question what I’m doing here because I know that I could be doing something else that would provide the bridge from college debt to financial freedom just like this job does. Often times it’s what else can I do, or what am I good at that would allow me to be in a familiar place? I have to remind myself that I am here for a reason, especially since I’ve had déjà vu recently. I remember when I had déjà vu in California and I told my good friend, Ann, about it. I have always loved her response and I will always use it! She said, “Déjà vu is God’s way of letting you know that you’re on the right path!” So since I’ve had that, I no longer question where I am or what I’m doing! I just go with it, cause there is a plan! Getting back to what I was saying…at the end of the day I just don’t believe there is any place that I should be or anything else I should be doing. I can’t think of another job that provides the type of adventure that this one does, let alone, every three months! I got into this profession for a reason; to learn how to run my own business whatever I deem that to be one day! I truly believe that this is what God has planned for me and I’m soaking up every moment I can; learning as I go!

I hope that this entry finds you doing well and enjoying every step, bumble, and triumph along the way!


I keep forgetting, but here is my new address:

Brandt Cook
Fluor
FPO, AE 09372


I actually already got one package, and it arrived in 5 days!!